This website exists for a two-fold purpose:
- To help bring clarity and hope to women in destructive marriages
- To shine a light on the reality of domestic abuse within the church
“But not in my church,” you may be thinking. “Abuse is horrible, and I can’t imagine anyone in my church would ever tolerate it.”
I’m glad to hear you would not tolerate abuse! The problem is that abusers are skilled liars and manipulators to those around them. Their victims suffer in silence because not enough people in the church are trained to recognize the dynamics of abuse. Abuse victims often present as someone who is depressed, angry, or even a little unhinged. Most people are not trained to recognize what is hiding much further under the surface, so they refer this victim to marriage counseling so she can better learn to communicate with her spouse or manage her depression.
Domestic abuse actually occurs at high rates within the church because abusive men use the Bible as a weapon to perpetrate their abuse and keep it covered. Christian women believe in forgiveness, in being longsuffering, in “not gossiping” , and that divorce is never an option in marriage — so abusers have free reign to practice their evil behind closed doors while their wives stay submissive and silent.
Domestic abuse doesn’t just happen to women who live with a rough looking guy in a white tank top. It festers silently behind the abuser’s charming smiles and smooth words. (Psalm 55:21 provides a perfect description of this person.) Abusers take note of others’ ignorance, and they confidently continue their treacherous behavior behind closed doors, knowing their public façade is working.
If you have specific questions or need resources for a particular situation, feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.