When a woman* finds that her husband is not a safe person either physically or emotionally, the biggest question I often see her struggle with is, “What now? Divorce is not an option. I made vows before God, and I must keep them.” This is a personal question that each person must answer individually before […]
Continue reading
I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that many churches do not do a great job of supporting domestic abuse victims. Even those who express a desire to help have often failed to accomplish that. (I wrote a guest post for my friend Rebecca Davis that explores some of the reasons […]
Continue reading
Several people have requested me to take a look at Created to Be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl and offer my thoughts. This is not a complete review of the book by any means; however, these are some of the more blatant examples of the ways Debi Pearl’s teachings enable abuse in marriage. 1. Debi […]
Continue reading
I can be pretty hard on a lot of Christian marriage books, blog posts, webinars, etc. (Note: I’m not here to be hard on the author himself/herself. I assume that an author has good intentions unless there is proof otherwise. Critiquing the content is different than critiquing the person, and it’s the content I’m here […]
Continue readingCorrie ten Boom and her family resisted the Nazi invasion of the Netherlands by hiding Jewish people in their home. Unfortunately they were discovered and arrested. Eventually Corrie and her sister Betsie were sent to the Ravensbruck concentration camp. Ravensbruck was a work camp, where the prisoners were literally worked to death. 96,000 women died […]
Continue reading
Financial control is one very effective method that a controlling husband* can use to maintain power and control over his wife. It is important to understand the overall pattern of abuse and how financial control plays into that. (Read more here about what the pattern of abuse looks like and be sure to download the […]
Continue reading
I’ve heard the heart-wrenching accounts of women who recount with terror, “My husband choked me.” How terrifying it must be to have someone’s hands around your throat, hurting you and restricting your breathing. The correct term for this experience is strangulation, and in many states it is a felony offense. Strangulation is the ultimate form […]
Continue reading
One thing I get asked to do fairly frequently is to give my opinion about various marriage books and whether the material in them is safe for abuse victims. (The vast majority of Christian marriage advice is harmful to those in abusive marriages.) This post will address the book Married Sex by Gary Thomas and co-authored […]
Continue reading
The market for books and conferences on the topic of marriage is incredibly popular. This is true in the secular world as well as in the Christian sphere. Many authors and speakers share ideas couples can use to communicate with each other more effectively and encourage couples to invest their time and energy into strengthening […]
Continue reading
I have often found in conversations about abuse that some people express the sentiment, “I would never let anyone abuse me.” This sentiment can quickly devolve into a lack of sympathy for the victim. It almost seems to the bystander that it is the victim’s fault because she allowed herself to be treated that way. […]
Continue reading